Telegram:
"Misha quickly arrive home dad dead very wants to see you."

- Oh, God! What happened with your physiognomy?
- In she has pleased flying plate.
- Flying plate?! Yes whence it tàken?
- I don't know where wife take them.

A brick fell from roofs and dropped on pedestrian. There was crowd, all resent:
- Àh, àh! Already bricks with roofs fly. The People to go terribly.
- Hey, Gentlemen, this comrade is from device!
All:
- Àh! Àh! How much these people from device was scatterred. There no place for brick to fall!

Wife has left husband. A little later she told his mother:
- As soon as I came out of building, there was a shot! How do you think is he shotted?
- I think, it has openned the bottle of sparkling wine!

To the bus student goes. He is skinny like a straw. Stands near the bus window, but beside old woman sits and speaks:
- Sonny, I think probability you are student who get only A's because you so skinny. Although let me hold your raincoat.
- No, I get C's. But this not raincoat and student Petrov. And he is get only A's!

A plane flies. A man sits and peers into porthole. Suddenly he bei to shout on the whole salon, seen beside coming down on parachute of person.
- Man for board! Man for board!!!
Paratrooper is dared and peacefully speaks him:
- Fool! Don't shout! I am your pilot.

- From this minute when I got acquainted with you, - man speaks to his resort familiar, - I can not to eat, not to drink, no smoke.
- Do you so powerfully have liked me?
- No, simply I haven't money on all this things.

In the morning husband speaks the wife:
- You had not iron my suit!
- No, I had!
- Don't lie me. Yesterday in pocket there was 100 dollars, they on place.

The Wife speaks the husband:
- Honey! I presently go to our neighbour for 5 minutes, but you each half an hour should prevent porridge.

In receiving of dentist woman-pacient grumbles:
- Ten dollars for extending of one tooth! This enourmous money, and the whole for pair of seconds of work.
- Well, madam, - shrugs dentist, - if you want, I can pull much slow.

From medical conclusion: "Opening has shown that death approach as a result of opening".

Inculpated:
- I was said that my wife recieve a lover just now, resort - window openly, peer, see - he runs. I took the night table and throw in he.
From evidences of aggrieved:
- Concern With the sport, run. Suddenly this night table dropped on me.
From evidences of witness:
- Well, I sit in night table...

- Why do you sit in prison?
- Because mother-in-laws has blood went from nose and I impose rope on her neck.

In coupe a solitary a passenger. Enters the robber who has a gun in hand:
- Quickly give me money!
- I haven't any.
- So why you so tremble?
- I thought you are comptroller.

Judge:
- Why you have made the false money?
Defendant:
- Why? Because I don't know how to make persisting money.

Chukcha was presented "Kamaz" truck. Through year he is asked:
- Well, what's your opinion about it?
- Orderly, - answers Chuckcha. - There's warm in the booth, wind does not blow, headlights dawn on the whole taiga, only one bad - deers quickly become tired so I have to often change them.